Incomplete
by Scarlett O'Hara1992
Summary: Rose is dragged back to the hell that is St. Vladmir's Academy. But there is one perk. She has fallen in love with a Russian god. Will he be good for her? or will he make her incomplete? Please READ & REVIEW
1. Prologue

Prologue

It all started the night he took me and Lissa back to St. Vladimir's Academy. We had ran away two years ago, but now the guardians had found us and were dragging us back to school. Returning was one of the worst experiences of my life, being paraded through the school knowing that everyone thought I was a failure for being caught. I don't know how the hell we had been caught. We were always so careful and then BOOM! They had us trapped in a van before we could say "_Get the fuck off me_." And now here I was. In hell. And about to meet the devil himself.

Kirova, the headmistress, had a terrible punishment lined up for me. I had to catch up on all the training I had missed with extra lessons before and after school with Guardian Belikov. Even though looking at him made me think that I was in for a good time. He looked like some sort of god with his dark eyes and dark hair. Part of me felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. No dhampir could be that good looking.

I was pulled back from my fantasy by Kirova saying, "You will spend the rest of the day training with Guardian Belikov. That will be all." She waved a hand at us to tell us to leave. How dare she try and waft me away like I'm some sort of bad smell. Doesn't she know that I'm the badass Rose Hathaway? It would only take me a few seconds to jump over the desk and snap her neck. But after I'd done it, Belikov would have to tackle me to the floor… _Ah_. I'd like that. His body pressed against mine in a strong embrace. "Err… Rose?" said Kirova, bringing me back to reality. There I was stood in her office with a big grin on my face. What an idiot. How stupid did I look?

"Sorry. I was miles away." I followed Belikov out of the room. I couldn't take my eyes off his arse. It was magnificent. Perfectly rounded. I just wanted to reach out and grab it. Before I knew it my arm started lift towards his derriere. I quickly snatched it back before he noticed, but I still couldn't pull my eyes away from that well sculpted posterior. That's when I felt it. My skin was on fire. My eyes looked up to see his burning deep into the very core of me as I about walked into him. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks as my skin began to blush. He turned and carried on walking. So much for not getting caught. I was going to be an amazing guardian… _not_. I couldn't even check someone out without getting caught. He took me to the gym in complete silence.

"So.." I said trying to get some words out of him. He lifted one eyebrow looking perplexed. "Ah. I see you're not much of a talker. Which I think is really bad because I love to talk."

"So I've been told," he said as he pushed the gym door open for me. He had a light Russian accent that seemed to make love to the words as he said them.

"You've been told about me? What have you heard?" I wondered, hoping that it was nothing bad.

"Well all I can say is your reputation proceeds you." he smiled, and what a heavenly smile it was.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I was getting worried now.

"I'll tell you some other time when we are not busy."

"Tell me else I'll have to beat it out of you." I smiled at him. Without any warning he had closed the gap between us and was launching an attack. Within a few seconds he was lying on top of me pinning me to the floor. "What the fuck, Comrade?" he laughed. This was just like my vision. _Keep calm, Rose. Act natural. Don't blow it._

"Don't make a threat unless you can carry it through. I was rather disappointed. I was told that you were a hell of a fighter, but I see you're all mouth and no trousers." I smiled at him. _No, Rose! Don't do it!_

"Well if you keep on lying on me, I expect I'll soon be wearing no trousers." he didn't look too pleased at my comment and rolled off me before jumping to his feet. _You've gone and done it now haven't you, Rose? _"Sorry about that, Comrade. It just sort of slipped out." He looked at me as if he was trying to figure something out.

"I heard about that too."

"Well don't listen to gossip. It's always wrong. Especially about me. It went round that I was a blood whore. I don't see how that's possible seeing as I'm a vir-" his eyes widened. "Err… like I said. Don't listen to the gossip around here, its always wrong." _How the hell did I just nearly tell him that I'm a virgin? What is wrong with me? _

"I never listen to gossip, Rose. However when I was told about you, I listened and wanted to see for myself whether it was true." He seemed deep in thought.

"And is it?" I looked at him pleadingly. He smiled.

"I'll let you know."


	2. This Never Happened Before

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the VA characters or the song. This never happened before by Paul McCartney.**

Chapter One - This Never Happened Before

Six months later.

Guardian Belikov, or Dimitri as I had come to know him, was a Russian god. Sure the training was hard for me, but spending time sparring with him was pure perfection. Yes, it hurt, but I got to see that body, which can only be described as being designed by the gods, move and his muscles flex. It was slightly hypnotic. Until I got kicked and fell on my arse.

The image that always came to mind was when I went to a practice lesson one day and he was topless. His dark brown chest was covered in black hair. He hadn't noticed that I'd entered but when I came out of my daze I saw that he was looking at me dumbfounded. I felt my face heat up. But it was worth the embarrassment to see him even a bit naked.

It's not as naked as he's seen me though. He walked into the changing rooms when I was stood only in a black lace bra and thong that didn't leave much to the imagination. He just stood staring at me, looking up and down. He looked like he might bust something as he walked out.

But in looking at him it wasn't just his looks that I lusted after, it was all of him. Every time I saw him my heart skipped a beat and a swarm of butterflies took up camp in my stomach. It must be love. But how do I know? I've never been in love.

"That's all for today. I'll see you tomorrow." Dimitri instructed. The whole session had passed by in the blink of an eye.

"Okay," was all I could muster. I wanted to spend more time with him, but went and had a shower. The hot water spilling over my aching body was the only remedy for my constant battle against my feelings for Dimitri. He would never love me. How could he? He's a Russian god and I'm a novice. I got out of the shower and dried myself off. I picked a pair of denim shorts and a white tube top out of my drawers and put them on. I found my white plimies under my bed and put them on before making my way over to my desk to get a pad and pen. I made my way to the music room, which no one ever used. I sat down at the piano and let my heart flood the pages of my notebook. Soon after I had written the lyrics I got a melody to go along with it. I decided to try singing it to see what it sounded like.

"_I'm very sure _

_This never happened to me before_

_I met you and now I'm sure_

_This never happened before_

_Now I see _

_This is the way it's supposed to be_

_I met you and now I see_

_this is the way it should be_

_This is the way it should be for lovers_

_They shouldn't go it alone_

_It's not so good when you're on your own_

_So come to me_

_Now we can be what we wanna be_

_I love you and now I see_

_This is the way it should be_

_This is the way it should be_

_This is the way it should be for lovers_

_They shouldn't go it alone_

_It's not so good when you're on your own_

_I'm very sure _

_This never happened to me before_

_I met you and now I'm sure_

_This never happened before (this never happened before)_

_This never happened before (this never happened)_

_This never happened before (this never happened before)"_

"That's a beautiful song." I turned round to see Dimitri a few feet behind me. "I didn't know you played," he said as he approached me.

"You never asked." I smiled at him. "How long have you been standing there?" He looked searchingly into my eyes.

"Long enough." I could see something buried deep in his eyes but couldn't quite place what it was.

"What does that mean? I asked confused.

"Who did you right that song about?" _Shit. He knows._

"Just people." I lied.

"Rose don't lie to me." He paused. "It's about you and me isn't it?" Those words knocked the wind right out of me.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't believe how easy it was for him to figure it out.

"I've seen how you look when I'm near you." I didn't know what to say. It was hard for me to lie to him. He seemed to know when I was lying. I might as well just tell the truth.

"My songs are a way to express myself so I can keep a clear head. But ever since I met you it doesn't seem to work. It's as if my head has been in a fog for the last six months." There was a moments silence which seemed like an eternity. "I think I just said a bit too much about myself."

Within a second of him moving, his lips were pressing on mine. His arms snaked around my waist pulling me against his hot, concrete body. A fire burnt deep down inside me as a longing for our bodies to be closer together began to control me. His tongue traced my bottom lip begging for entry, which I gladly accepted. I wrapped my arms around his neck to get closer to his mouth and deepen the kiss as our tongues began to fight for dominance causing a wave of pleasure to flood my body.

But someone had to pull the plug. He pulled away from me, letting go of my waist and retreating a few steps. "What's wrong?" I was so confused. He shook his head.

"We can't do this." Those words made me feel like someone had cut my heart open and was taking great pleasure in pouring lemon juice on the wound.

"What?" His words just wouldn't sink in. He sure did blow hot and cold. "What are you saying?"

"We cannot be together like this. I am your mentor, you are my student. Nothing more, nothing less." I didn't know I was crying until I felt the warm liquid rolling down my cheek. "I'm sorry, Rose. But that will never happen between us." He turned on his heels and left me sobbing quietly into my hands. I wiped the tears away and stared after him.

"We will see about that."

**A/N: I would like at least five more reviews before I update again, keep me posted on what you think. Thanks.**


	3. Without You

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters that I have used in this fanfic.**

Chapter Two – Without You

Practicing in the gym in the early hours of the morning was a very new experience. I was wearing my black sports bra and very tight black shorts whilst kicking the crap out of the punch bag. The stereo player was blasting out Without You by El Presidente. "Without you, I don't want anybody, without you, I don't need anybody, without you, what do you want me to do? Cuz there ain't no way that I could possibly love, without yo-" The music suddenly went silent. I spun round ready for a fight.

"You're here early." Dimitri said as I just stared at him. "What's wrong?" he said, as if he didn't know.

"I couldn't sleep. Too many things going on in my head. It's very distracting." I walked over to the stereo and pressed skip then play. Your love is my drug by Kesha came on. I went back over to the punch bag and started kicking the crap out of it. I was surprised that there was anything left after I had been kicking it with such force that if it swung back it would have knocked me off my feet. I started to sing along to the song.

"Maybe I need some rehab,  
Or maybe just need some sleep,  
I've got a sick obsession,  
I'm seeing it in my dreams

I'm looking down every alley,  
I'm making those desperate calls,  
I'm staying up all night hoping,  
Hit my head against the walls

What you've got boy is hard to find,  
Think about it all about it all the time,  
I'm all strung up my heart is fried,  
I just cant get you off my mind

Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug,  
Your love your love your love,  
I said your love, your love, your-" The stereo went silent again.

"Enough!" I turned to him.

"What do you mean?" I was so confused.

"I've had enough. We are done for today" he crashed down on a chair and put his head in his hands. I grabbed my bag and made my way over to the stereo, which was situated right next to Dimitri. I reached my hand out to get my CD but Dimitri grabbed it and pulled me to him. He stood up and I was pressed against that god-like body of his. My eyes locked onto his smouldering dark brown orbs that looked as though they would devour me. As if I would fall into the darkness that was threatening to consume me. I went to push my hand through his hair when he grabbed my wrist to stop me. His eyes changed form being filled with desire to being filled with anger. "No!" He pushed me away and crashed down on the chair again. I stood in front of him trying to stop the tears from escaping and rolling down my cheeks.

"Okay." I forced out. "I get what you're saying." I tried to keep my voice level. "You don't want me."

"Finally, she gets it!" he stared at me with some sort of hate in his eyes. Was this really my Dimitri? He had never treated me like this before. What is going on?

"Yes. I get it. Goodbye Dimitri." I couldn't hold it back. A tear escaped and ran down my face. I turned and walked towards the door.

"Roza wait!" I just carried on walking. I couldn't face him. I got out of the door and my walk turned into a run as I heard him say, "Please! Roza!" But after a while, all I heard was my heart breaking. I ran to the only place I knew I would be alone. The cabin.

It was an old, disused guardian cabin. It was the only place in this school where you could actually hear yourself think. What am I going to do? _What can you do? He doesn't want you. Deal with it. _My head is telling me one thing, but my heart is telling me another. But which do I listen to? If I listen to my head I will be miserable, but if I listen to my heart and get it broken I'll be even more miserable. I sat on the disused bed and contemplated my future. I love him. I know I do. And that is worth fighting for. I will make him mine. He loses control sometimes around me; he must feel the way I do. How can he not?

**A/N; R&R please guys. I'd like 10 more reviews before I update.**


	4. Rinse

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters that I write about. Or Rinse by Vanessa Carlton. There are also a few lines taken from **_**The Spaniard's Blackmailed Bride by Trish Morey.**_

**WARNING: LEMONS IN THIS CHAPTER. Please be nice with the reviews it's my first lemon.**

Chapter 3 – Rinse

"She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye,

She would suffer; she would fight, and compromise,

She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright,

For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonightShe must rinse this all away,

She can't hold him this way,

She must rinse this all away,

She can't love him this way

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see,

She needs to be held in his arms to be free,

But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand,

'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man, She must rinse this all away,

She can't hold anybody this way,

She must rinse this all away,

She can't love him this way

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed,

What could be the worse than leaving something behind,

And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow,

It's loneliness she finds...

If only he was mine

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye,

She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise,

She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright,

For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

She must rinse him,

She must rinse him,

She can't rinse him,

She can't rinse him,

She can't, she won't, she must rinse him

She can't, she won't, she must rinse him,

She must rinse this all away,

She can't hold him this way,

She must rinse this all away,

She can't love him this way."

My eyes flooded with tears as I finished my latest song.

"Why can't she love him this way?" The unexpected voice made me jump. I didn't need to turn round to know it was him. The smell of his aftershave made love to my nose and his deep Russian accent sent shivers all over my body. I stood up and turned towards him.

"Because she can't have him, she must let him go even though she can't."

"Why must she let him go?"

"Because he doesn't want her." He walked over to me.

"Wrong." He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. His lips crushed mine before I had a chance to say anything. There was such passion and love in the kiss that made me wonder why he had changed his mind. I pulled back.

"What are you doing? I asked in a state of flux.

""I want you, Roza."

"But you said you didn't. That we can't do this."

"We can't do this. But I can't not have you. I need you." I saw the desire in his eyes.

"But you seemed to hate me."

"I thought it would be easier to hate you than give in to my feelings for you. It would ruin both of us."

"Why have you changed your mind?" He seemed so sure of his next answer.

"Because I love you, Roza." I felt like I'd been slapped around my face. _He loves me? Why am I holding back? He loves me._ I jumped on him wrapping my arms around his neck. My lips pressed against his with an urgency that scared me. The power that he had over me was frightening.

My hands slowly slide from behind his neck down his chest. I felt his breathing catch under my touch. My fingers itched to undo the buttons of his cotton prison an run them through the dark forest growing on his immaculate chest. His hands slid up from my waist to the small of my back, to the base of my neck leaving a trail of fire burning through my top onto my skin. He reached for the bottom of my top and it felt like an eternity for him to pull it over my head. I just wanted our naked flesh to rub against each other. He undid my denim shorts and they pooled at my feet leaving me standing in my black lace bra and thong. His eyes traversed my length, all the way from my eyes, searing a trail over my dhampir curves and down my long tanned legs to my pedicured toes and then all they way up again. Slowly. Taking in every inch of my skin. His eyes, heavy with raw passion and firm possession, finally returned to mine and it was all I could do to remember to breathe. "You are so beautiful, Roza." My hands returned to his chest to undo his shirt. His tanned skin felt so soft under my hands. My fingers tangled themselves in the dark hair on his chest. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders whilst placing a trail of light kisses up his neck to his jawbone. He dipped his head so our lips brushed sending an electric current through us. My hands made a trail from his shoulder, down his perfectly carved chest, past his flat stomach to the rim of his jeans, which felt tight underneath my touch as I felt around for the zip. He must have sensed how nervous I was so he removed his jeans himself to reveal very powerful legs.

The desire in his eyes mirrored my own, so much so that the underwear didn't stay on very long. He swept me into his arms in a heartbeat, capturing me in a tangle of limbs. I felt his throbbing shaft against my stomach as Dimitri trailed his fingers down my throat pausing at my swollen breasts. He captured a bud between his thumb and forefinger teasing and tantalising me. _I think two can play at that game_. I reached for his length. Breath hissed through his teeth as I caressed his silken shaft. "You're playing with fire," he warned, removing my hand and placing it back around his neck. He lifter me higher, wrapping my legs around his waist while our lips brushed and our tongues danced. "If at any point you want me to stop, please tell me. I don't want to hurt you," he said with such love in his eyes. He slowly let me down, absorbing all his length as he lowered me all the way. My muscles clenched and spasmed around him, my head thrown back and legs kicking as I exploded in his arms. There was none of the pain that I had been warned about, just pure pleasure. A kind of pleasure that should be made illegal. So sinful. I heard him mutter my name as we rocked together. I tried to match his rhythm to deepen his thrusts and coax me closer to my release. A wave of ecstasy drowned me as my inside shuddered and I reached my climax closely followed by Dimitri.

"Dimitri!" I moaned as I road on the wave of endorphins produced by our love making.

"Oh Roza! My beautiful Roza!" he grunted. He held me close to him as our breathing returned to normal. He put me down. " We should get dressed before someone comes in."

"Do you know what times it is?" He searched through his jeans pockets for his phone.

"It's 12."

"Shit! I was meant to meet Lissa an hour ago." I quickly dressed myself, hoping that Dimitri would hurry up because the longer it took him, the more I wanted to undress him again. When we were both fully clothed we left the music room. "I best go to Lissa." I said, even though I didn't want to leave him.

"I'll see you later then?" he asked unsure of my answer. I smiled at him and he returned it with that smile that I love so much. It made me just want to forget about Lissa and drag him to my bedroom where we wouldn't be interrupted.

"Yes, I'll see you later."

"Great." His smile was even wider.

"I love you."

"I love you too my Roza." I kissed his lips once more.

"Goodnight Comrade."

"Goodnight Rose." I turned away with the biggest smile on my face and practically ran to Lissa's room, knocking on the door until she opened it.

"Where have you been? You were supposed to be here an hour ago." I walked past her and sat on her bed while she closed the door.

"I'm sorry," I said still smiling, "I got caught up in the music room."

"You and that bloody music room…" she trailed off. "Wait. What happened in the music room?" I giggled at her as realisation dawned across her.

"What makes you think something happened in the music room?" She huffed at me.

"Well you're late and you have a very big smile on your face." I just kept giggling. "Spill!"

"Okay! Okay! I lost my virginity tonight." I said with a big smile.

"Really? To who? It wasn't Jesse was it?"

"Hell no! Even I'm not that stupid. To Dimitri." Her jaw hit the floor as she stared at me.

"Dimitri? As in Guardian Belikov? Your mentor? I thought you only had a silly crush on him. I mean I wouldn't blame you, he's gorgeous, but your first time is supposed to be with someone special." She was going full steam when I interrupted her.

"Lissa calm down. It was with someone special. It's not a silly crush. I love him." I couldn't stop smiling.

"You love him? That doesn't happen. You don't fall in love Rose."

"Well I have now, and he loves me." Her jaw hit the floor again.

"He loves you? Really? Aww that's really sweet… So how was it?" She giggled and I couldn't help laughing at her bluntness.

"It was unbelievable. We fit together perfectly. It's like we were made for each other." She looked at me awestruck.

"It was that good huh?"

"No." She looked confused.

"No?" She asked trying to confirm my answer.

"No. It was better. It was completely indescribable." She laughed and then some invisible hand slapped her.

"But what are you going to do? Staff and students can't have relationships."

"I don't know. I guess we will have to figure something out. We haven't had chance to talk yet. I raced over here as soon as I saw the time."

"Well you better think of something fast before the other guardians find out."

"I know, but what can we do."

**A/N: please review else I'll assume that people don't like it so I won't upload anymore. I really don't want that to be the case because I want to share this with you and find out what you think.**


	5. You're My Angel

**Sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been applying for uni and getting ready for exams. Very stressful. But I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters. Even though I wish I owned Dimitri :P**

**I would like to dedicate this to White Nightingale who has supported me throughout writing this fic.**

**I would also like to thank all of the reviewers for taking the time to tell me what you think, you guys keep me going. Please keep reviewing =]**

Chapter 4 - You're My Angel

Dimitri and I spent hours walking around the grounds, being able to hold hands and kiss and cuddle without any prying eyes. We had to be careful not to be seen. "Dimitri. We have to talk." He looked extremely worried.

"About what?"

"Us."

"What about us?"

"We can't just keep hiding this. Soon it will come out. We have to figure out what to do." I had worry written all over my face.

"Hey, come here." He pulled me into his arms. "Don't worry about it. I'll think of something." He planted his lips on mine with such a gentle, loving kiss.

"You really are my angel. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well you're never going to be without me, so it doesn't matter." he smiled. _Rose. I need you _Lissa's voice sounded in my head. "What's wrong?" Dimitri asked looking concerned.

"Lissa needs me. But I'll see you later won't I?"

"Of course." he smiled.

"I love you, Dimitri."

"I love you too, Roza." I kissed him one last time before racing to Lissa's room. I knocked on her door, waiting impatiently for her to open it. When she did she had a huge smile on her face.

"What's going on, Liss?" I said feeling suspicious about her happiness. I walked past her and sat on her bed waiting for her to close the door and join me on the bed. I didn't think it was possible but her smile grew even wider when she dropped down onto her bed. "Liss, you're freaking me out now. What's going on?"

"I have a boyfriend!" I swear I felt my jaw hit the floor.

"A boyfriend? Who?"

"Okay Rose don't freak out. It's Christian Ozera."

"Christian Ozera? Really?" I didn't know what to say. "What? When? Why? How? How is this possible? I didn't think you even knew him. How come you're going out with him? Don't just sit there looking at me. You have to explain." She laughed at me.

"Rose, I would explain if you gave me chance to get a word in."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. And I'm with Christian because we've got to know each other since we got back to St. Vladimir's and we really like each other."

"But Lissa is he safe?"

"What do you mean, Rose?"

"Well you know what happened to his parents." Anger bombarded me through the bond.

"Yeah! I know about his parents! And I wish people would stop using that against him! He refused to join them. And never agreed with what his parents did. So that is good enough for me."

"Liss, I'm not prejudiced against him. I'm just looking out for you. You're my sister in everything but blood. I don't want you to get hurt. If you say he's good, then I'll give him a chance."

"Thanks Rose. I really need your support in this. I can see that a lot of people are not going to agree with you though. I think we are in for a rough road."

"Well I will be with you there every step of the way." She through herself at me and embraced me in a hug.

"Thank you Rose. Love you."

"Love you too Liss. But I best be getting back to my fella." I said grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Ooooo. How's that going?" she asked, releasing me from her grasp.

"It's amazing. Obviously we have to keep it quiet, which I hate, but we will find a way to be together. We have to."

"Ahhh. I never thought I would see the day when you fell in love, and boy have you fell hard. I bet being separated from him for this short amount of time is killing you isn't it."

"You have no idea." I replied.

"Well I won't keep you any longer. Hurry up and go to him. I don't want to be held responsible for your depression." I jumped up and hugged her.

"Love you Liss!" I let go and ran out of her room before I gave her time to reply. I sped to my room to beautify myself before seeing Dimitri again. When I reached my room I opened my window to allow some fresh air in. I turned toward my wardrobe to pick out an outfit when I saw it. A folded piece of paper on my pillow. I slowly walked over and picked it up. Not sure whether I wanted to see what it contained. I opened it up and I couldn't believe what I was reading.

_Rose,_

_I'm leaving and I'm not coming back._

_Don't try to find me._

_Please don't you dare._

_Just live in my memory._

_You'll always be there._

_Love, Dimitri_

I had read it a million times but the words still weren't sinking in. My heart felt as though it had been ripped from my chest. I felt incomplete. Like I'd never be whole again. _How can he leave me? He loves me. _My broken heart quickened as the tears began to fall. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I ripped open my bedroom door and raced through the corridors, bursting through the front door and speeding down the main drive. As I neared the gate I saw Dimitri talking to the guardian on duty. "Dimitri!" I screamed as I kept running. He saw me but got into the car as the other guardian closed the gates behind him. "No! Dimitri!" I finally reached the gates as he pulled off. I crashed into them screaming, "Wait! No!" The vision of his car disappearing into the distance became a blur as the tears continued to fall. My knees buckled under me and I fell to the floor crying my heart out. "No. No. No"

**A/N: continue review please. The next instalment should be uploading soon. What will Rose do?**


	6. All Time Low

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy character. Even though I wish I had Dimitri :P**

Chapter 5- All Time Low

"What are you looking at? Can't a girl get a drink around here now?" I shouted, too drunk to think before speaking.

"Rose, we should go." said Lissa trying to pull me out of the moroi dorm room. Emphasis on trying. I don't think she could pull a dog on wheels let alone me. The badass Rose Hathaway.

"No! I'm having fun." I pulled away from her. A pained expression crossed over her face as I pushed her away from me. "I don't want to be alone. Being on my own is no fun." I said slurring my words.

"Ah! Rose is here. This should be a right laugh." Jesse said to Ralf, "Do you want to have some 'fun' with me Rose?" I looked at his smug face. "_Stay calm Rose. You're better than him. He's a piece of shit that is not lucky enough to be on your shoe. The bad thing is, at the moment I don't think that your brain is attached to your mouth._

"Yeah, I like fun." _Great Rose. Don't give him the ammunition. He will wipe the floor with you. __**Shut up brain. I can handle this myself. **__Good luck._ He laughed at my enthusiasm.

**SMACK!**

I punched him square on his nose and felt a crack beneath my fist. I watched in slow motion as his face crumpled and he fell to the floor clutching his nose trying to stop the blood that was pouring down his face. _Good one Rose. I liked the way you handled that. __**Why thank you brain. I thought it was rather fantastic. Been wanting to do that for ages. **_

"You blood whore!" he barked at me. II think it's safe to say I nearly pissed myself. How the high and mighty do fall. And fall a long way.

"Oh. Wasn't that as fun for you as it was for me?" I said smiling down at him. Finally being able to, Lissa dragged me away. I didn't want the agro of people asking me why I punched Jesse. I didn't want to have to keep repeating 'Cuz he's a dickhead.'

"We are going. Right now!" We pushed our way through the crowd and exited the room. "Rose, you have to stop this. He isn't coming back." We began to make our way back to my room.

"I can hope and prey can't I?"

"You can, but it won't change anything. It's been six months and you haven't heard anything from him. He doesn't want you." I smiled at her hiding my pain.

"I know. I hate him!" I screamed. There was a long pause before she said,

"No you don't. I know you Rose. It seems better that you know yourself. You don't hate him." A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I have to… else I won't make it through this." The lyrics that I had been working on never seemed more relevant than in this moment.

"Preying won't do it,

Hating won't do it,

Drinking won't do it,

Fighting won't knock you out, Of my head,

Hiding won't hide it,

Smiling won't hide it,

Like I ain't tried it,

Everyone's tried it now,

And failed somehow,

So when you gonna let me,

When you gonna let me out - out

And if you know,

How do you get up from an all time low,

I'm in pieces,

Seems like peace is,

The only thing I'll never know,

How do you get up, Get up…"

"Enough!" Liss screamed. "You have to stop this! Get over it Rose!" I couldn't believe what she was saying. "I know I'm being a bitch, but this isn't healthy Rose. He isn't coming back. Move on. Please." The last word was a plea.

"I've tried. Honestly I have, I just can't seem to."

"I won't rest until you're okay again. Let's talk about something more cheerful."

"Thank you, Liss." I hugged her to me. "Do you want to stay in my room tonight? We could have one of our girly conversations just like the old days, before I was battered and bruised."

"Rose-" I cut her off.

"Plus, it's your birthday next week so we could talk about party details and search for dresses online." She smiled.

"Yeah, I'm so excited, of course I'll stay over. I can't wait for my party. What's my present?"

"Aha. It's a surprise." She pulled a sad face.

"I want to know." We finally reached my room. We went inside and jumped on my bed.

"You will," she looked hopeful. "In a week." I laughed. She picked up my pillow and hit me with it.

"Bitch." She laughed.

"Ha ha." I mocked her.

"See," she smiled, "I think you're on the mend."

"Oh I really hope so. I hate being like this. I don't want to miss him anymore. I don't want to love him anymore."

**A/N: Sorry about this chapter, it's a bit of a filler. Lots of action kicks off in the next chapter. I hope you're excited. Keep reviewing! ****J**


	7. If I Had You

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the vampire academy characters or If I had you by Adam Lambert. I recommend that you listen to it as Rose sings it. Its more fun that way hehe =]**

**WARNING: MEGA TASHA BASHING!**

Chapter 6 - If I had you

Lissa's 18th birthday. We were going to be late if Lissa didn't hurry up. I was ready. Hair curled. Check. Red halter neck silk dress to mid thigh. Check. Red stilettos. Check. Lissa on the other hand was running around with curlers in her hair in her dressing gown. "Lissa! Stop running around and get ready! We are gonna be late!" She stopped mid run and stared at me.

"It's alright for you. You look gorgeous no matter what you wear. I actually have to try to look pretty."

"What shit you chattin' now? You're the one that looks gorgeous 24/7. Now stop fannying around and let me help you." She sat down in her chair as if I'd just used compulsion on her. Half an hour later she was finally ready. Her platinum blonde hair was in neat waves down her pale back. Her pale pink dress clung to her sleek form and formed a tutu skirt. "C'mon Liss. I bet all the guests are waiting." I tugged her out of her room and towards the grand hall. We stopped outside the door. "Ready?" I asked her. She nodded her response with a massive grin on her face. I pushed the large doors open and we were greeted by,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I could feel through the bond that she was overwhelmed. She mingled in the crowd giving "thank you"s and "glad you could make it"s. I made my way over to Christian.

"Come on Sparky. While Lissa's mingling, you are dancing with me." I dragged him to the dance floor and began to sway to the music. He looked terrified. I'm not surprised, he was dancing with a badass. After what felt like ages I made my way to the stage and stood next to the microphone. The band stopped playing so that I could speak. "Lissa. Could you come up here please?" She slowly worked her way through the crowd and got up onto the stage. I handed her a box wrapped in baby pink paper with a silver ribbon around it. She tore through the paper and opened the box which contained a heart shaped silver necklace that was inscribed with _'Lissa and Rose, Best Mates Always' _

"Oh Rose! I love it!" She put it on immediately.

"Good. Now grab Sparky and get on the dance floor for my second present." She looked very excited and made her way to the dance floor. I made sure that the band was ready and waited for the music to start.

"_So I got my boots on, got the right 'mount of leather, _

_And I'm doing me up with a black colour liner, _

_And I'm workin' my strut but I know it don't matter, _

_All we need in this world is some love, _

_There's a thin line 'tween the dark side and the light side baby tonight, _

_It's a struggle gotta rumble trying to find it_," I sang as people danced along with the music. Many gob smacked faces at the fact that could actually sing just stared at me.

"_But if I had you, that would be the only thing I'd ever need, _

_Yeah if I had you, then money, fame and fortune never could compete, _

_If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy, _

_Yeah, if I had you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_If I had you," _Everyone had finally gotten over the shock and seemed to be having the time of their lives as they began rocking to the song.

"_From New York to LA getting high rock n' rollin, _

_Get a room trash it up 'til it's ten in the morning, _

_Girls in stripper heels, boys rolling in Maseratis, _

_What they need in this world is some love, _

_There's a thin line tween a wild time and a flat line baby tonight, _

_It's a struggle, gotta rumble tryin' to find it, _

_But if I had you, that would be the only thing I'd ever need, _

_Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete, _

_If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy, _

_Yeah, if I had you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you If I had," _Lights began to flash all around me as I sang the next verse. Flashing along with the beat, I couldn't stop myself from dancing along with everyone else. What can I say? I'm a performer. I love the attention.

"_The flashing of the lights, _

_It might feel so good , _

_But I've got you stuck on my mind, yeah! _

_The fashion and the stage, _

_It might get me high, _

_But it don't mean a thing tonight, _

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need, _

_Yeah, if I had you, the money, fame and fortune never could compete, _

_If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy, _

_Yeah, if I had you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_If I had you, _

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need, _

_Yeah, if I had you, then money, fame and fortune never could compete, _

_If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy, _

_Yeah, if I had you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_You-y-y-y-y-you, _

_If I had you, you, you." _As soon the song had finished people were screaming my name. I had never felt so well loved in my entire life. I took a bow before getting off the stage only to be attacked by Lissa.

"Oh my god, Rose! That was amazing!" she screamed as she pulled me into a hug. She finally let go and I began to mingle. I could hear people saying,

"Wow!"

And…

"That was amazing!"

And…

"I totally wasn't expecting that."

"Thanks everyone!" I replied with.

"You were fantastic, Roza." I caught my breath. I must have imagined that. I turned around to confirm it but failed. He stood in front of me as if nothing had ever happened. Why did he have to look so good? His fitted black suit only accentuated his hard muscles and his white shirt complemented his tanned skin perfectly. His dark brown hair was its usual perfect mess and my fingers itched to run through it. But instead I needed to hurt him. Hurt him like he hurt me.

"What are _you_ doing here?" My words got the desired effect as a pained expression washed across his face.

"I'm Tasha's guardian and she was invited." I followed his gaze to a woman standing with Christian. Her jet black hair flowed down her back to her waist. She wore a silver silk dress that clung to her moroi figure. She turned to face me and I could see her piercing blew eyes look over me as I saw a silver scar that marred her cheek. Despite the scar she looked beautiful. _Bitch. _She smirked at me as if to say "ha ha he's mine now." Well I have news for you bitch, I don't want him.

"You left me for _her_!" My laughed had never seemed to be so fake until now.

"Roza-" I cut him off as he tried to grab my arm.

"Don't call me that! Stay the hell away from me!" I barged my way through the dancing bodies and found the French doors out onto the terrace. The cold night air hit me and seemed to sooth my anger. I sat on the nearest marble bench and tried to calm down. _You should kick his arse. __**I can't he's a better fighter than me. Why did he have to come? Why couldn't she have brought another guardian? **__Perhaps he wanted to torture you. __**He wouldn't do that. **__How do you know? He took your virginity. He told you he loved you and then upped and left. People that care about you don't do that._ I felt the first tear trying to break free. _Just face it Rose. He doesn't love you. He doesn't want you. Get over it. _As soon as the first tears was free there was no stopping them. I really need to stop crying over a man that doesn't love me.

"Don't cry, Roza." I turned towards the deep, sensual voice that had bewitched me from the first time I heard it. He stood looking at me in all his glory. It broke my heart to hear him call me Roza. I was no longer his Roza. He broke me. All the anger that had subsided was flaring up again.

"Don't you ever listen to anything I say?"

"I do listen, but I just can't do as you ask."

"And why is that?"

"Because I love you, Roza." I shot up and screamed at him.

"Stop lying to me!" I tried to run as fast as I could in my stilettos but they were really slowing me down. He caught up with me by the fountain and grabbed my arm to pull me to a stop. He spun me round and pulled him against his oh so familiar frame.

"I'm not lying. No word I have ever said to you is a lie. I couldn't do that to you."

"Then why did you say you love me then leave, huh?" He paused. His face blank. "Huh?" I screamed. I tried to push him away.

"Stop fighting me Roza."

"I don't want you to touch me!" I didn't have anytime to react before his lips crushed mine. In that all of my objections flew out the window and I melted into his arms and deepened the kiss. I'm home. It was just like old times. Like before he left me. Wait. Before he _left _me. I pushed him away and slapped him around the face. "How dare you kiss me?" I screamed at him. I ran crying back to the party searching for Lissa. She looked worried when I finally found her.

"What's going on?" she wondered.

"Dimitri's here."

"What?" she yelled.

"He's here with that scar faced bitch."

"What?"

"He's her guardian. He left me to be with her. And you know what that means. He wants to start a family with her. Why else would he leave me for _that?_"

"Why would he do that? He loves you. It's plain to see."

"He says he does. Right before he kissed me."

"He kissed you?" She looked angry.

"Yeah."

"Oh my god!" She was in shock. What about me? He broke _my_ heart. Left _me_ broken.

"Roza." Ah that's why she's in shock. I spun around

"Argh!" I stormed off to my room. Why won't he leave me alone? I slammed the door behind me and fell onto my bed. Tears rolled down my cheeks and wet my pillow. Then I heard the door open and close behind me. I picked myself up off of my bed and faced him. "What do you want?" He looked pained at my words. "I mean you've taken my heart and ripped it to pieces. Come back for some more. Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but there isn't anything left." More tears flowed as he pulled me into his arms. His lips crashed down on mine. My body was engulfed by flames as he deepened the kiss.

"I love you, Roza." he said when our lips parted.

"Then why did you leave me?" He thought about it for a while.

"I can't tell you. I really want to but I can't. But it was for a _very_ good reason."

"Was it your choice to leave?" I really wanted him to say no. my heart depended on it. Our future depended on it.

"I was given an option. And to leave was the best option. The only option I could pick."

"I don't understand." I was so confused. I really wanted to know why he left.

"One day I will make you understand," he said as he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go. I leave in the morning." I pulled him away from the door.

"You're not going anywhere." I said in a very suggestive tone. Maybe I can convinced him to leave Tasha and resume his place back at the academy. I smiled at him and pulled him towards me.

"Rose, I can't be here."

"But you are already here so it doesn't matter." I said as I began to unbutton his shirt.

"Don't." He said as he took my hands off his shirt.

"Fine." I said as I backed off. I reached for the knot at the back of my neck and undid it. I unzipped my dress at the side and it slid down my body pooling at my ankles before stepping out of it to be left standing in a red lace bra and thong set. I slipped my shoes off and walked towards the bathroom whilst undoing my bra. I'm going to hell anyway, I might as well taunt Dimitri as much as possible while I still can. I threw my bra at Dimitri and it slinked over his shoulder. I moved into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I took my thong off and stepped into the shower allowing the hot water to wash over my body. That's when I felt it. His arms wrapped around my waist like a steel vice. My body moulded to his perfect physique and passion took over as his naked flesh rubbed against mine. "I thought you were leaving." I teased.

"I should be but I can't leave with you being like that."

"Being like what?" I teased again. He spun me around and pushed my against the cold wall. A moan escaped my lips as my hot flesh pressed against the cold marble.

"So irresistible." Before I could say anything he had entered me with such force that my legs buckled.

"Dimitri!" I moaned as he charged me again. Again and again and again. I screamed as I reached my climax, collapsing into his arms. Our throbbing heart and exhausted lungs demanded rest as we dried ourselves off and slipped into my bed. That night I fell asleep in the arms of the man I love.

**A/N: This was a VERY long chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. What will happen next? Tell me what you think will happen and tell me what you think. I live for reviews. R&R! =]**


	8. Numb

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters. **

**Rose's song is numb by Honey Ryder**

**Dimitri's song is War by Poets of the fall**

**WARNING: this is a very intense chapter with reference to suicide. If you are sensitive to this then I suggest that you don't read this chapter.**

Chapter 7- Numb

I woke up from my peaceful sleep to an empty bed. _Where is he? __**Probably getting breakfast.**_I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I went to my leave my room to search for Dimitri when I found a note on my door.

_Roza, it is not possible for us to be together._

_I am a guardian and you are a student._

_I'm sorry to have led you on but I promise you will never see me again._

_Move on._

_You deserve to be happy._

_Goodbye._

_Love D_

I can't believe he's done it again. I ran to the gym to use to punch bag. I screamed as I punched and kicked it letting my anger control me. When suddenly the bag fell to the floor. I'd hit it so hard that the chain had snapped. I went to see Alberta to report it.

"What can I do for you Rose?"

"I broke the punch bag in the gym?" She looked at me confused.

"What do you mean you _broke it_?"

"I was so frustrated and angry that I punched and kicked it so hard that the chain snapped and it fell to the floor."

"You snapped the chain?" I nodded. "Wow! You must be very strong."

"Either that or my anger got the better of me."

"You shouldn't be angry. He had to leave."

"No he didn't. He was supposed to stay with… wait! How do you know?"

"I could see it. Plain as day. You two were in love. I was so happy for you two but someone saw you in the grounds kissing. Kirova made me get him to leave quietly or she would expel you as well as fire Dimitri.

"Why would she do that?" I shouted.

"Because relationships between guardians and students aren't allowed. Even more so because you were both supposed to be Lissa's guardians."

"I just want him back."

"I know you do, but he chose to leave so that you could have a future. One of you had to leave and he felt that it was his duty to give you a chance at a life." I stood up and moved towards the door. I spun around and looked her in the eye.

"A life isn't worth living if you have nothing to live for." I turned on my heel and left. I walked to Lissa's room to talk to her and hopefully feel a bit better. I knocked on her door and waited for her to open it. As soon as I saw her face the tears flooded my cheeks.

"Oh my god! What's wrong?" She said as she pulled me into her room and sat me down on her bed.

"He's gone again."

"Oh Rose. But you knew that would happen."

"But he could have at least waited until I woke up instead of leaving me feeling used."

"Wait. You slept with him?" she said accusingly. I nodded. "What the hell were you thinking Rose? You were doing so well getting over him!"

"No I wasn't! I could never get over him! I love him! And now he's gone again!"

"You're so stupid Rose! How could you sleep with him?" she yelled.

"I love him! That's how! He's my soul mate! And it seems the only person that truly gets me!" I retorted. "I came here because I thought you would understand, but obviously not."

"Get out! I don't ever want to talk to you again!" she screamed. I stormed out of her room and ran back to my own. I trashed it. I shoved books off my shelves, pulled the clothes out of my wardrobe and draws and scattered them across the floor. Finally I picked up a photo frame containing a picture of me and Lissa from a Halloween party back in the real world. I threw it at the floor length mirror on my wall. The mirror smashed and the glass in the frame cracked. I pulled paper from my desk and wrote two letters.

_Lissa, if you are reading this then I am probably dead. I couldn't take being apart from Dimitri, I love him so much. I can't live without him in my life. I hope you forgive me but I have to do this. I know it's selfish but it's the only thing I can do to stop it from hurting. You are my sister in everything but blood. I love you. I'm sorry._

_I will always be with you,_

_Rose x_

Tears ran down my face as I read what I had just written. My tears mingled with the words from my heart that had just been expressed on the piece of paper. Trying to pull myself together enough to write the next letter was nigh impossible.

_Dimitri, I hope this letter reaches you. As you know by now that I am dead, I don't want you to feel guilty. It's not your fault. I wasn't strong enough to go through losing you twice. I don't regret anytime we spent together, I just wish we had more of it. You mean the world to me and without you I have nothing. I can't live if living is without you. As I said to Alberta, a life isn't worth living if you have nothing to live for. So goodbye my love._

_I will love you forever and always_

_Your Roza x_

I put each letter into an envelope addressed to each reader. I left them on my desk as I ambled into my bathroom and searched through the cabinet to find my razor. I dropped it on the floor and jumped on it releasing a blade. I sliced the tips of my fingers whilst trying to pick it up leaving trails of blood on my bathroom floor before being able to finally grasp hold of it. I walked back into my bedroom and lay down on my bed trying to make myself more comfortable. I lifted the blade to my wrist and dragged it across the skin. The excruciating pain that followed threatened to consume me. It felt as though my wrist was on fire. I did the same with my other wrist and placed the bloody blade on my bedside table. I leaned against my headboard and watched my tears mingle with my blood. As the darkness devoured me my body slid down the headboard and my head lay on the pillow seeming as though I was only sleeping. But the blood soaked bed said otherwise.

**Dimitri's POV- War**

_How am I doing this again? How could I find the strength to leave her? We are meant to be together. Forever. _I spun the car around and raced back to the academy hoping that I wasn't too late. _What if she has given up on me? I can't stand to live without her anymore. She is the only thing worth living for. Without her I'll go back to being an empty shell. _I sped up the drive and launched myself from the car, bursting through the front door. I ran towards the dhampir dorms. _**WAIT! **_I came to a stand still. _If I come back it will ruin her future. If we were to guard Lissa the Queen would never let us be together. _I pushed forward. I want my Roza. _But her future! _I kept running. We will have to figure that out later.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" A deafening scream was coming from near Roza's room. I pushed harder and tried to run faster. I rounded the corner to find Lissa covered in blood.

"Lissa? What's going on?" She turned violently and slapped me around the face. It would have perhaps hurt a moroi or human but not a dhampir.

"It's all your fault!" she screamed at me, tears crashing down her pale cheeks.

"What is?" I was so confused as pushed past Lissa and into Roza's room, but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. There was blood everywhere. I ran over to Rose's bloody flesh and noticed two deep incisions on her wrists. I picked up her lifeless form and ran to Dr. Olendzki's clinic. "She's slit her wrists!" I called to the doctor as I burst through the door.

"Put her on the bed quick!" I placed my Roza's limp body on the nearest bed. "Okay. Can you wait outside please?" I left the clinic and sat in the waiting room. It felt like hours before the doctor emerged from Rose's room. I raced over to her.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes she will be fine. You got her to me just in time. She'd lost a lot of blood."

"Can I see her?" I hoped she'd say yes.

"She's unconscious. It took a lot out of her."

"I'd still like to see her." I think she saw the desperation in my eyes.

"Okay." I walked past her and moved into the private room to see Rose's lifeless, pale body lying in the bed. I sat in the chair next to her and took her hand in mine.

"Oh my dear Roza. What have you done?"

**A/N: what will happen when Rose wakes up? Will she take him back? Or push him away? Tell me what you think will happen and what you think so far :]**


	9. Knocking On Heaven's Door

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters. Just the plot.**

Chapter 8 - Knocking On Heaven's Door.

My eyes began to flicker open. The light filtered through making me just want to keep them closed. But then again heaven is waiting for me. If I made it that is? I couldn't help but laugh. I'm fucked if I haven't. I gradually opened my eyes even though they protested. The first thing they focussed on was a tanned hand holding mine. My eyes traced up the well toned arm, across the broad shoulder and up the muscular neck to his perfectly chiselled face. Dimitri. He was fast asleep with a letter folded up in his other hand. My letter. "If this is heaven why do I feel like crap?" He jumped. His blank face shifted to one of relief.

"Oh, Roza," he sighed, and threw himself at me, capturing me in a bone crushing embrace. "I'm so glad you made it. I was so worried. I've been such an idiot. I never should have left. Please forgive me."

"One thing at a time, comrade. Remember I have just woken up. I want to go to a party. I'm in the mood for a party. Looks like my new life is going to be awesome. Especially seeing as I can have you now. Are you dead as well then? Or are you just a Dimitri that God has provided me with so that I can play with you to my hearts content?" He looked at me as if I was about ready for a straight jacket.

"Roza," he whispered, "why did you do it?" Guilt was hidden in his dark eyes.

"Because I couldn't have you. I couldn't live and not have you. But it doesn't matter now because I can have you forever now. That's my kind of heaven."

"You're not in heaven, Roza." he said, plain faced.

"What? I don't wanna be in hell. I know I've done some pretty bad things but that doesn't warrant me going to hell. Does that mean you are the devil? Oh man! You are gonna torture me by showing me what I can't have, aren't you? That is evil, even for you. I know I'm a badass but even I can't deal with seeing everyday, the man I love loving someone else. You are gonna make me watch that aren't you? God dammit! I wish I'd stayed alive now. Anything is better than having to deal with you. I've seen The Omen, your son is not a very nice person, and I bet you are a million times worse. Just send me back to Earth I can deal with my life now, knowing that it may be a living hell but it is better than actual hell Why me God? Why-" I covered my face in my hands as I was cut off mid rant.

"Rose, stop babbling. I meant you're not dead. I got to you just in time." This shocked me. _**How can I not be dead? **__You obviously aren't very good at killing yourself.___I removed my hands from my face and smashed them down on the bed releasing a scream as the sore flesh was crushed by the bandages. "Rose! Don't do that. You'll bust your stitches."

"What? Why are you here? You left me. Twice." I was so confused. "I thought you didn't want me."

"I changed my mind. I've always wanted you, Roza. I could never stop wanting you. I love you. I realised that I couldn't let someone dictate to me how I should live my life. I came back. I raced through the academy when I heard a scream. I saw Lissa covered in blood. Your blood. I hate myself for what I've put you through."

"You had no choice. Alberta told me the truth when I broke the punch bag."

"Wait. You broke the punch bag?" He looked at me with amused eyes.

"Yeah! I was very angry. When I went to see Lissa she shouted at me. So without you and without my best friend I couldn't see any future for me."

"I should never have left." he said looking so guilty.

"You had to."

"I'm not going anywhere again." he said, sounding so determined.

"But what about Kirova?"

"I'll sort something out. But I am not leaving you again." I couldn't stop smiling.

"I love you, Dimitri." he seemed shocked by my statement, but the shock quickly changed into a big grin.

"I love you too, Roza." he said before recapturing my hand and raising it to his lips to place a light peck on my knuckles. _What if he leaves again? __**What do you mean? He said he was staying. **__He's said stuff like that before and then left._

"But how do I know that you won't leave me again? How do I know that you aren't just using me?" He looked at me with a hurt expressed written all over his perfect face.

"I understand how you'd think that, but I'm not going anywhere, and I'm going to spend the rest off my life trying to make it up to you. One day I hope you'll forgive me. I hope I can re-earn your trust."

"I hope you can too."

**A/N: Wooooo! What do you thinks? Review please guys. Also, for you Twilight lovers, I have just started a BellaxCarlisle fic, so check it out =]**


	10. My Happy Ending

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the vampire academy characters.**

**WARNING: in this chapter this is a bit of Adrian bashing. If you like Adrian then I suggest you don't read. But I really don't like him.**

Chapter 9- My Happy Ending

_Three Weeks Later_

"Roza, what are you saying?" His face contorted in emotional pain.

"I don't think that I can trust you. You left me twice, after saying you love me. How can you leave if you love me?"

"I've always loved you, my Roza." he said as he pulled me into his arms.

"You keep saying that and part of me wants to believe you but I just feel so used." Realisation dawned across his face.

"So you don't want to be with me then?" His grip loosened as he saw the confusion on my face. I slipped through his arms and backed away.

"That's the thing. I don't know what I want. I love you. I really do. I've never felt this way about anyone. But I just can't bring myself to forgive you yet. I need you to show me that I can trust you."

"We can work through this. I know we can. I can't live without you."

"Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?" He looked confused. "Telling me to give you everything." His body seemed to relax at these words. "Seasons may change. Winter to spring. But I love you, till the end of time." He swept me up in his arms and carried me over to my bed.

"I love you my beautiful, heavenly reason for existing. I never want to be parted from you." he whispered in my ear as he lay me down and snuggled up to me. I rested my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as it lulled me to sleep.

Hours later I woke up to an empty bed as a sense of déjà vu washed over me. I squirmed around trying to get up when my hand fell on a piece of paper.

_Rose,_

_Don't freak out. I'm going for a meeting with Kirova. You looked too beautiful to disturb. I'll search for you when the meeting has finished._

_Yours forever,_

_D x_

Relief washed over me as I read his note. "I suppose I'll go work out for a while." I muttered to myself as I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out my red and black sports bra and shorts before putting on my black trainers. I ran down to the gym and went straight to the mat to start my stretches. I spread my legs and bent down my head nearly touching the floor when from in between my legs I saw Adrian, the resident gigolo, enter the gym. 50% of the girls old enough have slept with him. 45% of the girls that haven't, want to. And the rest, which is my favourite category, absolutely hate him and aren't affected by his "good looks."

"Ooooo. One of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack, Little Dhampir." He made me want to heave. _How did he get girls to sleep with him? He's so far up his own arse. __**It must be the fact that his is rich AND because he's the queen's favourite great-nephew. **__That could have something to do with it._

"What do you want, Adrian?" I said before standing up and turning around to face him. "I'm busy."

"That's not nice, Little Dhampir. I just came to talk to you."

"Well I'm busy Adrian so can you make it quick." I moved over to the wall where there was a rack of weights. I was just about to pick up a weight when Adrian spun me around and pushed me against the wall. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I want you, Little Dhampir." His lips crushed down on mine before I could push him off me. I bit his lip and kneed him in his most precious jewels before running past him, watching as he crumbled to the floor. I burst through the gym doors and ran into a hard chest.

"Dimitri!"

"Having fun Rose?" His words cut deep into my heart.

"You saw that then." I said, releasing the air that I didn't know I was holding in.

"Yes I did. And now I'm glad that I'm being called into this war. At least then I won't have to see you and Ivashkov together. I mean you gave me all that shit about not being able to trust me yet here you are sneaking about with Ivashkov."

"You've got it all wrong-"

"Don't Rose! I know what I saw. Give me some credit. Don't ruin the small amount of respect I still have for you."

"But where are you going?"

"To fight a big group of strigoi that have become increasingly powerful."

"But that's suicide!" He stared at me.

"I know." he replied, before turning and walking out of my life… again. I stared after his retreating figure until he turned around to look at me once more. I could have sworn that I saw sadness and longing in his eyes but it could have been due to my vision being impaired by the tears that were racing down my cheeks. He started walking again and turned around the corner. _Will I ever see him again? __**Not likely.**_

"So much for my happy ending."

**A/N: I know you guys are going to kill me but all will end well! I have possibly 2 chapters left. Lets make the most of them! R&R please guys.**


	11. Incomplete

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Vampire Academy characters or Incomplete by Backstreet Boys**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 10- Incomplete

_Three years later…_

Tonight is Lissa's masquerade ball. Oh what joy. These past three years have been hell. Lissa has helped me through them though, but I don't think she will have much time for me when she is crowned Queen Vasilissa Dragomir tomorrow. That's right. Lissa is going to be queen. This ball is a way of having fun on her last night of freedom. I, on the other hand, have to find the new guardian replacing Mikhail. He is settling down so wants a charge that doesn't require a lot of protection. Thing is I have no idea what his replacement looks like. All Lissa told me was that it was a guy. She said I'd know who it was as soon as I saw him. What the hell does that mean? And walking around in a red silk floor length dress with thick straps around my shoulders and red silk stilettos made it a challenge. I had written a song for Dimitri. My Dimitri. The love of my life that was cruelly taken away from me. If only I had been there to protect him. The horrible thing was that no body was ever found. My Russian god was no match for the massive group of strigoi he faced. My eyes began to well up at the thought of my dead mentor. I got up on the stage and sat down at the piano to speak into the microphone. "If you could all partner up for this slow song. I'd like to dedicate it to Dimitri Belikov. A life long friend, mentor and irreplaceable object in my life." I saw Lissa smiling at me as she dragged Christian to the dance floor. I began to play the piano and sang my heart out like the first time Dimitri heard me.

"_Empty spaces fill me up with holesDistant faces with no place left to goWithout you within me I can't find no restWhere I'm going is anybody's guessI tried to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I'm going to be is incompleteVoices tell me I should carry onBut I am swimming in an ocean all aloneBaby, my babyIt's written on your faceYou still wonder if we made a big mistakeI'd try to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I'm going to be is incompleteI don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go…"_

That's the moment my heart stopped. My eyes fell on my reason for existing. Dimitri. Before I knew what I was doing I was leaping off the small stage and running towards the other half of my soul. I saw people's shocked glances as they looked between me and Dimitri. But I didn't care. The only thing in my world now was Dimitri. I ran into his arms and about pushed him over. The tears overflowed and splashed onto his tuxedo.

"Ssh Roza. It's alright."

"I thought I'd never see you again." I cried.

"I'm not going anywhere again, Roza. I'm going to be Lissa's new guardian."

"Really? Oh my god!" I tightened our hug. "I never thought I would be this happy ever again. I thought you were dead." My tears fell faster at this thought.

"Dead?" He asked confused.

"Yeah. I was told that they never found your body so I thought you were dead. No one told me you were alive."

"I've been living with my family for the past two years. Then Lissa found me and asked me to be her new guardian. She explained everything to me. About Adrian forcing himself on you. I'm sorry for thinking that you would cheat on me. I should have let you explain. Then these past three years wouldn't have been lost. I would have looked after you. I would have watched you graduate. I would have asked you to move in with me." He got down on one knee. "I would have asked you to marry me." he said as he pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket. I gasped as he opened it to reveal a teardrop shaped diamond on a platinum band sparkling in the light. "Roza, my love, my life, my soul mate. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" My shock was clear on my face, I hadn't realised at the time that everyone had stopped to wait for my answer.

"Yes!" I screamed. He slid the ring on to my figure and jumped up pulling me into his embrace. "Yes a million times yes." I put my arms around his neck and crashed his lips into mine. All of our love was poured into the most passionate kiss I've ever had. It was only when we pulled apart that we saw everyone cheering and clapping their hands. I saw Lissa push her way through the crowd and launch herself into my arms.

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks Liss. For everything. This wouldn't have been made possible without you." She took hold of my hands.

"For years I've been trying to make up for my huge mistake," she said glancing down at the silver scars on my wrists, "I think I've finally done that." I pulled her in for another hug. "Anyway I'll let you get back to your fiancé." I turned around and leapt into Dimitri's waiting arms.

"_I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my handI don't tell anyone about the things that we have plannedI won't tell anybodyWon't tell anybodyThey want to push me downThey want to see you fall…" _Cheryl Cole's Parachute began to play in the background.

"Dance with me." He said as he guided me to the dance floor and enveloped me in his arms. We swayed to the music. Soon he was spinning me, caressing me and leading me around the floor.

"How did you learn to tango?" He laughed at my question.

"What are mothers for?" he asked with his rarely shown gorgeous smile. My face contorted as I tried to answer his question.

"I wouldn't know." I felt him tense under my hands.

"I'm sorry Rose. I meant that my mother taught me."

"It's ok. You don't miss what you never had."

"I love you, Roza," he said before he pulled me in for a passionate, heart stopping kiss.

"I love you too Dimitri," I said once he released my lips. His hands left a trail of fire as they caressed my bare skin. Finally. I'm home.

**A/N: R&R guys. Thanks for staying with this story, but Dimitri and Rose's journey is near its end, I will write the epilogue soon.**


	12. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Vampire Academy characters.**

Epilogue

"Do you Rosemarie Hathaway take Dimitri Belikov to be your lawfully wedded husband?" _Oh my god! I'm getting married! I'm getting married! And to Dimitri! Oh this has to be one of the best days of my life. __**Shut up with your inner monologue and say I do! He's going to think you're having second thoughts!**_

"I do." I said whilst looking into Dimitri's addictive brown orbs. _How did I get so lucky?_

"And do you Dimitri Belikov take Rosemarie Hathaway to be your lawfully wedded wife?" _Please say ye. Say yes. __**Of course he's going to say yes. He wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he didn't want to marry you.**__ He could still say no. __**But if you look into his eyes you can see that he won't say no.**_

"I do." Those two words made me the happiest I've ever felt.

"Then by the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." Dimitri let go of my hands and lifted my veil pulling me in for our first kiss as a married couple. And boy was it a good one. Our lips fit together perfectly in a caring and passionate battle for dominance. It took someone clearing their throat to remind us that we were in a church in front of our family and friends. Dimitri's arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me down the aisle whilst being bombarded with confetti.

"Happy?" Dimitri asked me when we reached the entrance. I pulled him in for a kiss.

"So happy." Lissa my bridesmaid and a vision in pink pulled me into a hug at that moment.

"Congratulations! And you look gorgeous. I hope my wedding will be as beautiful as yours." Christian had proposed to Lissa not long after the masquerade ball. I looked down at my ivory wedding dress. A silk bodice and skirt covered in ivory lace with long lace sleeves.

"Come Rose. Let's begin our forever." he said as he pulled me out into the night and into our future.

_One year later_

"Mr. and Mrs. Belikov. I would like to introduce you to your new baby girl. The woman standing opposite handed me a bundle of joy. A pair of big brown eyes stared up at me as an adorable smile spread across her cute face giving her rosy chubby cheeks. Brown curls had begun to mass on top of her head.

"How can someone not want something so cute?" I asked unsure as to whether I wanted to know the answer.

"The father was never in the picture and the mother couldn't give up her guardian position to look after a child. So she put her up for adoption. She didn't even give her a name." I turned to Dimitri who was awestruck at the baby girl cradled in my arms.

"What should we call her?"

"I like Kara," he said smiling down at our new baby.

"What about Kara Marie Belikov? I like that. What do you think?"

"I love it," he said kissing the tip of my nose. We filled in some more paperwork and then took our daughter to Lissa's apartments in the palace. I knocked on the door and waited. The door swung open to reveal my best friend, Queen Lissa.

"Rose. Dimitri. What are you two doing here? I thought you were on holiday?" Kara chose that moment to make her presence known by releasing one of the cutest giggles I've ever heard. Lissa's face dropped as she edged closer to us. She pointed at Kara. "That's a baby." She said stating the obvious.

"Well done, Liss. You are very clever. I knew there was a reason that you became queen." She looked at me gob smacked before motioning for us to follow her inside.

"What I meant was why do you have a baby?" she asked whilst we sat down in the living room.

"Well as you know two dhampirs can't have children. And Dimitri and I wanted to start a family. So we adopted our beautiful, baby, dhampir daughter. Kara Marie Belikov say hello to Auntie Lissa." I moved her so that Lissa could pick her up out of my arms. Lissa cradled her in her arms whilst cooing,

"Hello Baby Kara. I'm your Auntie Lissa and I'm going to spoil you rotten." I couldn't help but laugh at Lissa's baby talk. Kara was the most beautiful addition to our growing family. I'm sure she will make great friends with Lissa and Christian's daughter Dana. I wonder if they will be as close as Lissa and I as they grow up. One can only hope. We spent awhile talking with Lissa before returning to The Belikov Household. I carried Kara up to her new bedroom and placed her sleeping form in her new crib.

"May angels watch over you my beautiful baby girl." Dimitri appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my back flat against his chest.

"Why would she need angels when you are her mother?" Such a sweet line.

"Easy Comrade. Stop trying to seduce me in front of the baby. Bad Daddy."

"But the question is, have you been a bad mummy?" he growled in my ear.

"What you gonna do? Put me on the naughty step?" He looked deep in thought before answer.

"No. I'm going to spank you." I laughed.

"You'll have to catch me first." I said before making a break for it.

"Why must you play games with me, Roza?" he shouted after me.

"Because you play along."

"And why is that?"

"Because you love me?" I asked unsure as he grabbed me, pinning me to the wall before assaulting my mouth with his addictive lips. When he pulled back he whispered in my ear,

"Forever and always. Because without you I don't make sense. Without you I'm incomplete."

**That's it for Incomplete :'(**

**Thank you so much for reading this story until the end. It has been a whirlwind for Rose but she finally got her Russian god. I just hope there's one out there for me :P**


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